Authoritative parenting, according to Lawrence Steinberg, is the reasonable balance of three major aspects of parents' behavior toward their children-nurturance, discipline and respect. The balance of these three is critical for effective parenting, and holds across cultures and economic circumstances.Parental Responsiveness (love, warmth, nurturance): Parental responsiveness is the extent to which parents respond to the child's needs in an accepting, supportive manner. It is a very powerful force in the development of children, and most children probably do not get enough. Nurturance helps children feel loved, secure, and cared about, and it fosters children's acceptance of discipline and parental demands. There are many ways to respond and nurture children, including listening attentively spending time with children, being available, and giving more attention to that which pleases and less to that which does not ("catch them being good").
Parental Demandingness (discipline, control) Demandingness is the extent to which a parent expects and demands responsible behavior from children. This dimension includes both setting and enforcing rules or limits on children. In order to be enforced, rules must be clear, reasonable, developmentally appropriate, fair and just, mutually agreed upon, flexible, and emphasize what to do rather just what not to do. Enforcement of rules is much more than just punishment. Indeed, punishment is probably the least effective of the alternatives available. Monitoring and understanding children's behavior, preventing misbehavior, rewarding good behavior, and guidance are more effective tools.
Parents vary on how they balance these two dimensions. Some parents are warm and accepting while others are unresponsive or even rejecting. Some parents are demanding and expect a great deal of their child, while others are permissive and demand very little. The four parenting styles created by the interplay of high and low parental responsiveness and demandingness are shown in the following graph.
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Granting Psychological Autonomy (Respect) This somewhat complicated sounding concept is increasingly being recognized by scholars to be equally as important as responsiveness and demandingness, particularly as children reach adolescence. This concept helps to clarify parental control, by distinguishing between behavioral and psychological control.
According to Steinberg, the child development literature indicates that "adolescents appear to be adversely affected by psychological control-interference in the youngster's psychological autonomy-and positively influenced by behavioral control or the presence of demandingness." Inadequate parental control deprives the child of guidance and supervision and therefore places the child at risk for developmental difficulties. Too much psychological control can limit the young person's opportunity for self-discovery, disrupt the establishment of identity, undermine confidence, and result in inadequate understanding and expression of emotions.
One reason this third dimension-granting psychological autonomy-has been overlooked in much of the socialization literature is because that literature consists heavily of studies of young children. The psychological autonomy dimension does not emerge as a critical variable until children reach early adolescence, around age 10 or 11, and begin to establish an independent psychological identity.
The University of Minnesota's Positive Parenting project has been evolving a conceptual framework built around the these three concepts-responsiveness (or nurturance), demandingness (or discipline), and granting of psychological autonomy (or respect) - which guides it research, educational materials and professional development efforts. For further information about this conceptual framework and the many parenting tools or practices that derive from it, see the Positive Parenting curricula, parent materials, or website (www.parenting.umn.edu). The Positive Parenting team welcomes your questions and suggestions. (Citations and sources for this article are available on request)
Ronald L. Pitzer
Professor of Social Work, Project Director of Positive Parenting
University of Minnesota Extension Service.
School of Social Work in cooperation with the University of Minnesota Extension Service
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