When to leave a child home alone is a difficult decision. Unfortunately, in many cases, family circumstances force a choice before parents have had a chance to consider all the issues and make a judgment. Before this happens in your family, think about these two questions.

First - How mature is my child? Children vary widely in their ability to follow directions, occupy themselves, cope sensibly with unexpected situations, and resist temptation. Generally speaking, many ten-year-olds are ready to handle being alone for short periods of time--an hour or so. Age alone, however, is not a reliable guide.

Second - How safe and familiar is my neighborhood? A familiar neighbor willing to check on the child or be available, can ease your mind and be a sense of security for the child. If one is not available, you may want to rethink your decision to leave your child alone.

When you decide to take the first step, begin to prepare your child in advance. Establish clear rules and specific routines. Discuss with your child:

• whether friends are allowed in the house
• can she go outside and how far from home she can venture
• time limits for telephone conversations
• and acceptable snacks.

With the child, make a schedule of activities and post it on the refrigerator. Review important telephone numbers and post them next to the schedule. Review safety rules. Try to do this in a way that does not leave your child fearful or overly anxious. Rather than cautionary tales about terrible things that may happen, teach a few basic rules about what to do in particular situations like: when the doorbell rings; when an unknown person calls on the telephone; if a fire breaks out.

When the time comes...Help your child feel connected to you. Leave a special message or snack surprise to let her know she is in your thoughts while you are away from home. Begin with short intervals of absence. Run an errand or visit a neighbor the first few times you leave your child alone. Gradually increase the frequency and length of your absences.

Finally. A couple of reminders.

1. A determination that your child is mature enough to be left alone for an hour or two does not mean that she is ready to be left in charge of a younger sibling.
2. Remember that no child under the age of 15 should be left alone for extended periods of time, particularly at night.

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