Helping Children Cope with Terror

Helping Children Cope with Terror

What can we do when we are flooded with news reports of violence or terror? Parents and adults need to strive for a balance between helping children feel safe and admitting violence, evil, and danger exist in the world. The children will probably react with fear followed by the need for adults to console them. They will wonder whether it could happen to them.

IDEAS TO HELP CHILDREN FEEL SAFE

Reassure your children that they are safe, but you cannot guarantee bad things will never happen.
Assure them that having a violent act affect them is very unlikely.
Tell them everyone is working to make sure they are safe.
Say you will always keep them as safe as you can.

In addition, let them talk about good times: birthdays, and holidays like Thanksgiving. Remind them of getting hugs when feeling down, ill or injured.

AGE CONSIDERATIONS
Children under three may not be affected by recent events. Children between three and five are often aware. Children over five usually have distinct reactions to issues. Here are guidelines to talk to your child:

For preschoolers who haven't seen photos or news reports, don't bring it up. However, if they suddenly change behavior or are afraid to go to daycare, ask if they heard or saw something that scares them. Then talk about it.
For preschoolers who have seen news reports, start with "That looks pretty scary, doesn't it? What do you think about it?" Explain that some people didn't care about hurting others. They did a very dangerous thing. Assure your child that something like that will probably never happen to them. Tell them you will keep them as safe as you can.
For school-age children, it's OK to ask if they have seen reports. Admit that it's scary. Share your feelings: "I'm sad for the people and their families." Then tell them it's important not to let what happened scare us so much that we don't enjoy our lives.

Your children may want to work through their sadness by raising money for families of victims or drawing pictures for affected families. Focus on people who are helping. Children need to know that when something bad happens there are good people who help us.

Title:	Helping Children Cope with Terror	Number:	911
Script writers:	Ron Pitzer and Stephen Carlson	Source:	Univ. of MN Pub. Taking the Terror Out of Terrorism; Purdue Extension Pub. Terrorism and Children
Date:	2002	Reviewers:	Phyllis Onstad, Jean Anderson

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