It happens to almost every parent; your son or daughter brings home a report card that doesn't meet expectations. Following are suggestions to turn this into a positive experience.

• Your first question might be, do I have reason to be disappointed? Absolute grades may not be the best way to judge performance. In some cases, a "C" or worse may be cause for celebration if the subject was challenging and they really did give it their best. Assuming that your disappointment is legitimate, what's the best way to respond? Don't ignore the problem. Sit down and talk about it.
• Second, don't shame or demean. It only reinforces poor self-esteem and underachieving behavior.
• Third, begin with the positive. Most report cards have a mixture of good and bad news. Recognize the good, especially if your son or daughter showed improvement or met a challenge.
• Fourth, explain why you're unhappy. Let them know what you expect.
• Fifth, determine the real cause of the problem-whether it's general study habits, or a more particular problem.
• Sixth, come up with a plan with your child. Make this as specific as possible. Include yourself in the plan: what can you do? Don't hesitate to call the teacher.
• Finally, implement-and monitor-your plan. The next report card will almost certainly be an improvement. And, most importantly, it won't be a surprise.

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