There are three basic styles of parenting. Parents at one time or another use all three styles, but tend to rely on one approach.

The first style of parenting parent uses reward and punishment to enforce his or her requests. Children are given detailed instructions and expected to follow them. There is little or no room for the child to creatively solve problems, or disagree with the parent's instructions. Research shows that children brought up in these families seldom thrive. Either their spirits are broken and they give up, or more often, they rebel. This rebellion usually happens during the teenage years, when the child has developed enough power to fight back. Because the autocratic style has been typical for many generations, teenage rebellion has become accepted as normal. This is a mistake, because teenagers do not have to rebel to become independent.

The next parenting style allows the child to do their own thing. In these households there is little respect for order and routine. Few limits are placed on anyone's freedom. Some of the main consequences for children raised within this style is that they do not learn that there are boundaries or limits on their behavior, they do not develop respect for the rights of others, and may feel insecure. They have almost no sense of belonging. Since they have not learned to cooperate and compromise, they are often difficult to live with. These youth have difficulty adjusting when the world outside the family begins imposing rules on their behavior.

The third style of parenting is a middle ground between the first two styles. This parent is the leader who sets standards for a child's behavior, monitors and gently but firmly enforces these limits, encourages cooperation and stimulates learning. When this happens the child learns to take more and more responsibility. As they grow older the parent gradually releases the limits. Eventually as a young adult, they seem able to be independent.

Research shows that the respectful parenting style produces a number of desirable qualities within children. Some of these qualities include:

• positive self-concept
• honesty
• responsibility
• compassion
• problem-solving skills
• self control
• acceptance of self and others.