There is nothing that makes a person feel more cared about than to be listened to. Take the time to be with your child as an interested, non-judgemental friend, and listen to what he has to say.

Listen with respect. Children's concerns may be different from ours, but the emotions they feel are the same. Give your child freedom to express her feelings and views without fear of ridicule or judgment. Show her that you acknowledge and respect what she has to say.

Listening sets early patterns for life-long communication skills. If you take the time to listen, you teach them they are important. You help them trust their own perceptions. You also improve communication and make it easier to talk to them in the future. "Listening time" pays off in trust and courtesy down the road.

The principles of good listening include: listening to your children even when you don't like what you are hearing; repeating back what you heard to make sure you understood her correctly; and listening for nonverbal messages such as folded arms, hands on the hips, or a lowered head. These signs may help you better understand.

Often parents don't want to hear a child's message, especially if it is said in an angry, loud, or disrespectful way. Even at these times it's important to listen and reflect back the child's feelings. You can say, "I hear you are angry about not being able to go to the park today." This helps your child further explore his feelings and actions, and lets him know you are listening to him and understand the feelings he is having. Later, when the child has calmed down, you can talk to him about ways in which he can let you know he is angry without screaming, or yelling, or being disrespectful.

The practice of good communication skills is not always easy, and you may make mistakes. But keep in mind the overall goal of being a good listener and keep practicing. It can make a difference in how you feel about yourself as a parent, and the children in your life will be healthier because you listened to them.

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