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If a student in your class is depressed, giving him or her support can frustrate and exhaust you. People who are depressed aren't easy to help. Sometimes they even become just hard to like. They reach out to you and then moments later push you away with a harsh word, an unfair comment, or an abrupt exit. Here are some ideas to keep in mind as you extend the circle of support to a student in need.
Get another person to be your support.
The patience and understanding you will need to help a young person with depression takes a lot out of you. You can't keep filling up someone else's cup and never refill your own. Find a colleague who will listen to you and give support.
Recognize your limitations.
You cannot be everything to a person all the time. Some topics and some accusations will "push your buttons" and make you react completely irrationally. When you see this coming, pull away. Get some distance. You are there to be supportive, not to be jerked around.
Always enlarge the circle of support.
You are part of the circle, but not a lifeline. Don't get caught in the bond of "two against the world." Your student will be better off if three or four or five people are actively supporting and reaching out to help. A depressed person benefits from the concern, help, love and understanding of family, friends, professionals, and neighbors.
Be a good listener, but stick to your boundaries.
Be honest with your student. Stick to your limits and don't feel guilty. "I'm so glad you stopped in. I want to talk, but I only have 15 minutes right now. I'll have to leave at 1:30. What's on your mind?"
Listen to your heart. Pay attention to your instincts.
Your are not a doctor or counselor, but your position as a professional educator brings special responsibility. You have special influence. Follow up on your hunches and don't be too quick to dismiss your nagging feelings. Let other staff know your feelings and concerns, even if they seem illogical to you.
Take care of yourself physically and mentally.
Get daily exercise and plenty of sleep. Fresh air and activity clear your mind and help you relax.
Don't require them to enjoy life--but don't you stop!
Depressed people look sad, feel sad, and act sad much of the time. Telling them to "Cheer up!" won't help. They need time and a constructive program of help to get better. But be aware that sadness can be contagious even though depression technically isn't. Concentrate on not losing your own optimism, cheerful nature, sense of hope, and belief in the future.
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