Parlor Profiles: Dairy Families Talk About Their Lives

Off-Farm Employment

Half of Dairy Wives Work Off Farm

If this study is an accurate indication, half of dairy farm wives work off the farm. While this doesn’t seem to be a major problem—off-farm employment is another reality accepted by dairy farm families—there is still considerable stress for wives. That’s because their work doesn’t stop with their outside jobs and they continue to be responsible for household chores and child care. Despite this and minor inconveniences caused by working off the farm, no one reported extreme dissatisfaction with the situation.

Most Dairy Wives Find Off-Farm Work Satisfying

Twenty-five percent of wives with off-farm jobs were professionals. The majority held clerical positions or other paraprofessional jobs, such as educational or health care assistants. All reported satisfaction working off the farm and some clearly found it fulfilling. “I went back to work to start saving money to buy a farm,” one woman said, “but now I work because I like what I do. I’m much happier than I was at home feeding calves.” Another woman’s identity was her job: I’m a career woman,” she stated.

More Money Is Best Benefit

The biggest benefits of having a spouse work off the farm are financial—extra income, health insurance and other benefits. Two wives in the study worked primarily because they were committed to having a career.

“When I went back to work we both came to a better understanding of what the other person went through...”

One unique benefit from off-farm employment—more tolerance—is illustrated by one woman’s story. “When I went back to work we both came to a better understanding of what the other person went through every day. It was a turning point that made a difference. I understood what he was, what it was like for him to be dead-tired when he went to bed, not wanting to chat about some little thing that went on during the day. Now when I’m tired and I put my job first, he laughs and says, ‘Remember when you didn’t understand that?” I’ve changed. I’ve changed a lot. But we both have. We’re not the same people we were 20 years ago.”

Some Concerns Arise

Off-farm employment is not completely stress-free. In addition to the double duty of an outside job and being accountable for a house and children, wives must sometimes deal with in-laws’ expectations. “They didn’t understand (my working),” said one woman. “They wanted a passive farm wife that just went along with everything.”

A concern of husbands and wives was the separateness that can develop between spouses if they’re not careful. One woman’s comments show how that can happen. “He had his work and I had mine,” she explained. “Pretty soon we realized we were leading separate lives.”

Lack of time to get things done—whether at home, at work or on the farm—was also an important concern. One wife said, “It was either get rid of the kids, get rid of my job, or not go outside. The outside part went. And that has made things less stressful here.”

Husbands’ Attitudes

Husbands seemed generally supportive of their wives off-farm employment, but some indicated sadness at not having their partners beside them on the farm. “Her working off the farm meant more hours in the barn and longer days for me,” one husband said, “but it was necessary, I guess.”

“She’s gone by 7:30 a.m...,” said another, “so we don’t see each other at all during the day.”

But a third husband was less understanding. “If I had my way, I would have her home here doing nothing but carting kids and helping me.”

Wives’ Involvement

While some of the wives who work off the farm are not involved in the farm’s operation, (except to provide their husbands with emotional support), more than half said their off-farm employment didn’t isolate them completely from the farm. They continued to stay on top of what was happening there and some looked forward to getting more involved again someday. “Even though I’m working,” one woman said, “I can still tell you which cows just freshened or what they’re milking. I’ll go back to being outside more when the kids are through school. I like being outside.”

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