Parlor Profiles: Dairy Families Talk About Their Lives

The Role of Wives on the Farm

The opportunity for families to live, work and play together was identified as one of the greatest rewards of living on a dairy farm by nearly all the families interviewed. The wives who took part in this study filled a variety of roles in farm operations. According to families in the study, there was a great deal of satisfaction when the husband and wife worked together on the farm.

Wives Who Work off the Farm

“Half of the wives work exclusively on the farm. All these women have significant roles in farm operations. Far from being helpers, all these wives identified themselves as full partners in their family’s dairy business.”

Half of the wives in the study worked off the farm. All but one of these women said they didn’t do any outside farm work, except in emergencies. The one woman who did work outside in addition to her off-farm employment was responsible for calves and young stock, as well as bookkeeping.

Bookkeeping

Bookkeeping bears special mention because 66% of the women interviewed for this study kept the farm’s books, paid bills, etc. This figure includes half of the wives who work off the farm. This financial responsibility created stress for the wives, as these comments indicate. “I guess if there is a day that I am hardest to work with, it’s on bills day,” one woman declared.

Wives Who Are Full Partners on the Farm

Half of the wives work exclusively on the farm. All these women have significant roles in farm operations. Far from being “helpers,” all these wives identified themselves as full partners in their family’s dairy business. However, 25% said they leave the decision making to their husbands.

One wife explained that she felt from the very start that working on the farm with her husband was right. “I’m very content here,” she remarked. “I tell the story about the first time I was on our place with my husband before we were married. Chore time came and he said, ‘I’ll see you in a couple hours,’ and I said,‘What are you talking about? I want to come out and see what it’s like!’ So he set up a bale of straw in the middle of the barn and I started asking questions and I can just remember feeling, this is home, this is it.”

Roles of women who work actively on the farm

Another wife sees her role as more supportive. “I try to have meals ready and do whatever is expected to keep things running smoothly,” she said.

And how do their relationships work when husbands and wives work together on the farm? Every wife who worked only on the farm was satisfied with her role. The only complaint was that husbands didn’t participate equally in the housework.

Couples might disagree over specific issues, but none of the wives actively working on the farm expressed any negative feelings or resentment about what she did. This comment by a wife is a good summary: “We fight in the barn, but get along fine in the house! We disagree on how things should be done, but I don’t think it carries over into our personal life.”

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Produced by Communication and Educational Technology Services, University of Minnesota Extension.

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