Parlor Profiles: Dairy Families Talk About Their Lives

Rewards of the Farming Lifestyle

Dairy families clearly feel their life-style offers something nonfarm life can’t match—the opportunity to live, work and play together. It’s why they value their lifestyle so highly. While acknowledging that crop or other livestock farms offer this option too, dairy families see raising and milking cows as something unique.

Lifestyle Has Rewards

In addition to being around animals (cows and pets), half the families in this study mentioned specific aspects they liked about their lifestyle. These included a positive environment for raising a family, living in the country, the ability to take a few hours off during “normal” work hours (between 9 and 5), and the ability to blend work and family so easily.

Let’s Just Leave

Even though it’s hard to get away for long periods of time, being able to leave on a whim or for an afternoon is definitely seen as an advantage by dairy families. “Just two days ago,” said one wife, “I said, ‘Let’s go visit some friends. We have to get out of here for awhile.’ He said, ‘You can’t leave.’ I said ‘Well, we just have to get away. Let’s just leave.’ So we visited some friends for an afternoon. Like all dairy farmers know, that’s the best you can do to get away most of the time. But sometimes that is enough, just going to a movie is sometimes enough. Just to leave it and begin again the next day.”

Living in the Country

More than half the families interviewed mentioned living in the country as a benefit. Privacy and open spaces were important to them. These two comments by husbands show the strong convictions many have about country living. “I could not handle living in the city,” said one. “I just couldn’t do that. It was nice in college when I had my buddies to do something with all the time, but it’s different now.” When asked about selling the cows, one husband responded, “It would be awful hard for me. It would be like jail to me in town. I like the wide open spaces out here.”

A Good Family Place

Both husbands and wives see living on a dairy farm as a great opportunity to teach their children responsibility, a strong work ethic, and healthy goals and values. They especially like the fact that they can do this through hands-on experiences, not just words.

One husband is looking forward to showing his young daughter what a farm has to offer. “I like the idea of working with my family, both my wife and my dad, and I think that as my daughter gets older, we’ll appreciate that a lot more. With both of us fully employed here, we’ll be able to watch her grow up on the farm and help her experience things that we probably wouldn’t have if we were employed off the farm.”

Blending Work and Family

Nearly every family saw the unique opportunity to blend work and family as one of dairy farming’s great rewards. There were several aspects to this blend that were mentioned.

Working with Spouses

Couples placed a high value on working together. Four husbands, whose wives worked off the farm, identified this as sharing their accomplishments with their partners. Others really liked working directly with their spouses, and saw the sharing of work and personal life as a great source of strength in their marriages. One husband, whose wife is an equal partner in their dairy operations, expressed his appreciation of their partnership this way. “If we quit dairy and got other jobs,” he explained, “I know I would miss working with her and making decisions and planning with her. That wouldn’t happen unless we went into a business where we worked together.”

Working together with her husband, according to one woman, despite their financial challenges, enhances their relationship. “We don’t want things to change,” she remarked. “We expect things to evolve, but we are together and we plan to be together forever. We’ll do what we can to make that happen. That is definitely our strength.”

Being Together

One wife liked the fact that her family could work and play together. “(The greatest reward) is to have everybody involved,” she said. “When we work in the summer we will do a lot of things together around the yard. Then we will get the pool out.” One spouse suggested that attitude plays an important role in whether a dairy farm is a good place to raise children. “I don’t know if living on a dairy farm is the ideal place to raise kids— it probably isn’t,” she admits. “I think it depends on whether you think your kids are hired hands or whether you think your kids are just a part of the family.”

Some couples thought they spent more time with their children than nonfarm parents. They also liked the fact that their children had the chance to interact with other generations, especially grandparents who live or work on the farm.

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Produced by Communication and Educational Technology Services, University of Minnesota Extension.

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