Parlor Profiles: Dairy Families Talk About Their Lives

Profile of a Dairy Farmer

The typical dairy farmer is a person with a strong work ethic, a positive outlook, and a close relationship with his cows. He’s also someone who likes being his own boss. Some, however, are perfectionists, and their need to do everything correctly or a certain way takes time away from their families and can cause them extra stress.

Strong Work Ethic

“You have to be passionate about your work,” one husband pronounced. With a comment like that, it’s not surprising that eight families in the study talked about the need for a strong work ethic and dedication to the profession. The families take a lot of pride in their work and are willing to put in extra labor to make it a success. But some noted that there was really little choice. “We know the farm comes first and we just don’t plan any extras,” one husband said.

Spouses appear to accept or support the need for a strong work ethic. But sometimes it takes an off-farm job for them to understand their husbands’ commitment to the farm. “I was a lot more understanding after I went back to work,” admitted one wife, “because I got involved in my job and realized what it was like to be dedicated to something. I hadn’t seen that before.”

You Can’t Have Tails in Your Face and Hate it

Dairy farmers have a close relationship with their cows, which the farmers clearly see as a plus. Since the cows are the major part of their business and farmers spend a lot of time with their animals, this is hardly surprising. Some farmers’ attachment to their cows is very strong. Five husbands used the terms “love” or “like” to describe their relationship with their animals. “I just love the cattle,” said one husband. “I just try to keep them all healthy.”

Some farmers may identify with their cows too closely, however, if one husband’s response to the question, ”What would you do if you sold the cows?” is any indication. “I don’t know,” he replied. “I’d probably end up in a mental institution.”

Most wives understood their husbands’ relationship with their cows. And at least one shared it. “As I was washing the bulk tank, my friend’s husband asked me if I like this and I said I did. He asked what I liked about it and I said, I liked everything. You’re regimented to the day’s routine. You milk the cows, you have to make sure they are happy and fed, comfortable and healthy.” One husband summed it up best when he said, “You can’t go out there and have 50 tails in your face and hate it. You have to love the profession, you have to love the way of the life—and you have to love everything about it.”

Take Life in Stride

Most dairy farm families in the study seemed to have a positive outlook on life. Their attitude was: take life in stride and don’t let the stresses and little things overshadow the rewards of dairy farming. People tended to get self-satisfaction from their work. Some expressed a matter-of-fact approach to life, typified by this response. “Everybody talks about stress, stress, stress. To me, I think it is a bunch of you know what. I don’t believe in it. It was there years ago just like it is now. I figure it is part of the game. These problems are here and that is part of the job of farming, the way I look at it. I mean, if you can’t handle whatever, go find somebody who will help you cope with it. You are not going to get away from it, so you might as well learn to work with it.”

Being Your Own Boss

Dairy farmers valued the freedom to be their own boss, to make their own choices. “You’re your own boss,” one maintained. “If I want to take the afternoon off, all I have to do is finish up my chores and I can go do what I want. That’s what I like.” Another said, “The best part is being able to do what you want when you want. That is what I like about dairy farming. Nobody there telling you that you should be doing this or that.”

A Farmer Knows Best

A few dairy farmers admitted to being perfectionists about their work. As one husband said, “I’ve got to do the work and only I can do the work or only I can do the work best.” This characteristic seems to serve farmers well, but isn’t always a positive for their families. That’s because it takes him away from the family too much and can lead to stress for everyone. One husband’s comment shows wives can be perfectionists, too, “Well, I guess we like to see that things get done perfectly or exactly every time, and they (the children) maybe don’t.”

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Produced by Communication and Educational Technology Services, University of Minnesota Extension.

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