07309
Positive Parenting of Teens
Prepared by Bernadette Mayek, University of Wisconsin-Extension
Family Living Educator, Waupaca County, WI.
Reviewed by Dr. Stephen A. Small, University of Wisconsin-Extension
Human Development and Family Relations Specialist.
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Background: Adolescents and Decision Making
Poor or bad decisions have resulted in almost one-half of
the youth in this country engaging in one or more of the following
problem behaviors: substance abuse; school failure; delinquency;
or early, unprotected intercourse (Bogenschneider, Small,
and Riley, 1990). Adolescence is a time of increasing opportunities
to make decisions about whom to be friends with, whether to
go to college, who to date, whether to have sex, and whether
to use alcohol or other drugs. Choices made in adolescence
may have life-long consequences for an individual's health,
career, psychological well-being, and social acceptance (Mann,
Harmoni, and Power, 1989).
Age of Decision Makers
Children begin making decisions that have consequences when
they are very young. As they mature, the number of decisions
they make increases. The following graph shows how a child's
control over decision making changes with age.
At about age 10, the beginning of early adolescence, the
child's control is approximately equal to the adult's control.
Decision making should gradually shift from almost complete
control by the parents to almost complete control by the young
adult, with continued monitoring, input, and support from
the parent.
Youth vary in their ability to make decisions based on age
and maturity. Older adolescents often make better decisions
than younger adolescents do. But the decision-making skills
of older adolescents are far from perfect.
Younger children tend to use only one dimension of information,
while older children use a multidimensional approach, based
on a number of sources of information. By age 12, some children
are capable of a planned approach to making choices. This
is important because this is the time in which many decision-making
skills develop. By ages 13 and 14, youth can think more abstractly,
so young teens are finding their own solutions to many of
their problems. It is also a time to test their ideas. By
ages 15-17, teens are beginning to make important long-range
decisions about education and careers.
Adolescents Need Decision-Making Opportunities
Adolescents need opportunities to practice and discuss realistic
decision making. One strategy to accomplish this is to provide
more opportunities for adolescents to engage in role-playing
and group problem solving. Another strategy is for parents
to involve their adolescents in appropriate decision-making
activities. One study found that adolescents are more likely
to participate in family decision making when they perceive
themselves as in control of what happens to them and if they
feel that their input will have some bearing on the outcome
of the decision-making process (Liprie, 1993).
Another way youth learn to make decisions is by observing
their parents. But, sometimes, parents make impulsive or unwise
decisions. If parents are going to guide their children, they
need to examine how they make decisions. For example, parental
life-styles and modeling can affect adolescent sexual decisions.
Adult modeling of appropriate sexual attitudes and behavior
can be an important way to help adolescents make decisions
about sexuality (Schvaneveldt and Adams, 1983).
Decision Making—Adults vs. Adolescents
Decision making depends on the decision maker's beliefs
and values. If the decision-making process is applied to risky
behavior, as is often the case, adolescents and adults might
consider different options. For example, an adolescent may
see only two options: smoking or refusing to smoke marijuana.
An adult may consider three options: smoking it, only pretending
to smoke it, and refusing to smoke it.
Adolescents and adults might differ in their identification
of the possible consequences that might follow a decision.
For example, compared to adults, adolescents may worry much
more about what their peers will think if they refuse to smoke
marijuana. While adults may see these consequences as trivial,
in the eyes of teens, it may be very important.
Adolescents may place different value on some of the possible
consequences as well as assessing the likelihood of some of
the consequences. Adolescents often let emotions and their
desire to fit in with peers influence their decisions, especially
about risky behavior. This makes it more important that parents
take into account consequences from the adult's point of view
but to also consider the influences and values of the adolescent
(Furby and Beyth-Marom, 1992).
Because of the growing concern that adolescents are increasingly
engaging in risky behaviors, here are some suggestions for
helping youth become better decision-makers.
- Decision making is a learned skill, a
life skill. If youth learn a step-by-step decision-making
process early in life, these steps can become habit over
time. If the process is logical and rational, decision making
will become an integrated life skill.
- Provide opportunities for youth to make
decisions in families, youth organizations, social settings.
- Start young. At age 13 or 14, youth can
learn to make decisions that take advantage of their ability
to think more complexly and abstractly. Adolescence is a
critical decision-making time in a person's life.
- Partner with youth in decision making.
Allow them to make decisions under parental guidance. Youth
have a right and responsibility to participate in decisions
that affect them. Recognize that learning how to make good
decisions will sometimes result in mistakes. That's part
of the learning process. Parents shouldn't overreact.
- Model the capacity to share in a participatory
approach to decision making. Young people want to be involved
in decisions that affect them. In an Iowa youth poll, more
than half of the respondents felt that no opportunities
existed for them to become involved in the planning of alcohol
abuse programs designed to help students. Adults need to
learn how to work with youth in the decision-making process
(Iowa State University, 1991).
Next Section: Common
Beliefs About Peer Pressure
Resources
Bogenschneider, Karen, Stephen Small, & David Riley.
An Ecological Risk Focused Approach for Addressing Youth-At-Risk
Issues. National 4-H Council, Chevy Chase, MD. 1990.
Furby, Lita & Ruth Beyth-Marom. Risk-taking in adolescence:
A decision-making perspective. Developmental Review 12:1-44,
1992
Liprie, M. L. Adolescents' contributions to family decision
making. American Families and the Future: Analyses of
Possible Destinies. New York: Haworth Press. 1993.
Mann, Leon, Ross Harmoni, & Colin Power. Adolescent decision-making:
The development of competence. Journal of Adolescence
12:265-278. 1989.
Richardson, Sue. Parenting your early adolescent: decision-making.
Family Information Services: FI 61-63. 1989.
Schvaneveldt, Jay D. & Gerald R. Adams. Adolescents and
the decision-making process. Theory into Practice,
22:2. Ohio State University, Columbus. 1983.
What Do We Know About decision-making? Iowa State
University Extension. June 1991.
