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When families change through separation, divorce, remarriage, or a paternity
action, a whole new set of challenges arises for the parents and the children.
You will be faced with decisions about parenting time, education, activities,
setting rules, and expectations. This booklet is designed to help you
create a parenting plan that works so you can successfully parent apart.
Your challenge is to find solutions that are in the best
interest of your children. This process may be far from smooth; emotions
between parents are often strong. Where the children will live, how much
time the children will spend with each parent, and the level of child
support are a few of the “contests” many parents feel they
must “win” from the other parent. If you have these feelings,
you are not alone.
But there can be positive sides to family change as well.
You will have opportunities to parent in ways you haven’t before.
You will also have the chance to create a new relationship with the other
parent, one that is not focused on your conflicts with each other, but
on supporting, nurturing, and protecting your children.
Each of you has losses to grieve, yet you can’t work
these feelings out with the other parent. Each of you must find your own
support, whether through friends, counseling, groups, books, or other
resources.
We hope the ideas and suggestions in this booklet will help
you create a plan that meets both the challenges of your changing family
and the needs of your children. |
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Working on a parenting plan lets you focus on the positive
and start where you and the other parent agree: You both want
the best for your children. The plan helps you move from focusing
on your anger with each other to focusing on what will work
best for your children. Once you do that, everyone wins. Many
others who have lived through situations similar to yours
agree: When parents focus on what works for their children,
their children not only adjust, but thrive. And ultimately,
so do parents. |
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