Awareness of Emotional Reactions

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Have you ever described someone as "obnoxious" or "arrogant" or "uptight?" When describing someone in such ways, we actually are describing our own emotional reaction to that person. The teacher who says a student has a "poor attitude" or the parent who refers to his child as "disrespectful" is talking more about the feelings created in himself by the child than he is about the child.

Rarely is someone truly obnoxious or totally arrogant. It is more accurate to say that certain of his/her behaviors provoke irritation in some people some of the time.

Successful communication among people is more likely if we learn to observe the behavior of others and to label it correctly. We need to be aware of what, how often, and how intensely the behavior of others affects us. What we say about other people, especially children, affects the way they see themselves. Their behavior, in turn, reflects our expectation of them.

Ronald Pitzer
Family Sociologist

Originally published in February 1982

College of Human Ecology in cooperation with the University of Minnesota Extension Service

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