Relax and Cope With Stress

Copyright ©  1999  Regents of the University of Minnesota. All rights reserved.

Being a "good" parent, or a "good" spouse takes a lot of time and energy. In our good moments, we can be strong and supportive of family members. But at other times, relationships can be stressful.

It makes sense to nurture positive feelings about ourselves. When we take good care of ourselves, we can cope more easily with normal family hassles and the stress of everyday living. Stress can be managed if we learn to develop ways to cope with it. Here are some ways you can relax and cope with stress.

Enjoy 20 minutes of uninterrupted quiet. Sit comfortably with your eyes closed. If it helps get your mind off other distractions, chant aloud the word "calm" or any other soothing word. Do this daily and you will begin to notice a new kind of relaxation in your life. Try activity that relaxes you (music, walking, reading, a nap).

Have some fun. Reduce monotony in your life by doing something different--a hobby, a sport, or music lessons. Balance work with play each day, if possible.

Take one thing at a time. When you're tense you may see a mountain of problems and tasks in front of you. Choose just one thing and deal with it. Chances are other things can wait.

Learn to say no to requests that you can't reasonably handle, and don't feel guilty about it.

Don't bottle up anxiety or anger. Talk it over with someone you feel comfortable with.

Set reasonable goals and expectations for yourself. Revise them often. Stress, anxiety and depression can last a long time, keeping you from functioning effectively. If this happens, get help from a mental health professional.

Know your community and the resources it offers. Maintain good friendships so that you will have a support system to share your joys and help you through the tough times.

Ron Pitzer
Family Sociologist

Origninally published in March 1982

College of Human Ecology in cooperation with the University of Minnesota Extension Service

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