Beating The Blues II: Helping a Depressed Person

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Judy Jones just came home from the hospital after their baby died. She blames herself. Life doesn't look interesting to her anymore. She doesn't seem to care about her husband (Frank), their two small children, or anything else. Frank's mother is staying with the family for awhile. She keeps reassuring him, saying, "Judy will be all right. She'll snap back soon."

But Frank is beginning to wonder. Yesterday Judy told him she wished she were dead. He's afraid she meant it. Frank should be concerned. Judy is giving him all the signs of a person with a serious case of the blues. She needs help quickly. Anyone who talks of suicide should be taken seriously.

What are the warning signals? Watch out when someone loses interest in living. A person who is too tired to get out of bed for a meal or too tired to take off a coat when hot is depressed. When someone loses interest in sex, can't laugh, won't eat, or can't sleep, that person is depressed. A loss of interest in the future is another sign.

If these signs last more than three weeks, the trouble can be serious. What should you do? The first thing is to give your full support. Let him know you care. Then get him to a doctor.

Also important, keep him busy. Physical activity is a great help. But start out with fairly simple things. Otherwise, you may add to the very feelings of failure that you're trying to remove.

Finally, how will you know when the person is returning to normal? There are a few things to look for. When the person's appetite returns, when she begins to sleep normally again, when he takes an interest in his family, the person will be getting better.

Another sign is her being critical and cranky. This means the person is no longer blaming everything on herself, a good sign.

Ronald Pitzer
Family Sociologist

Originally published in December, 1981

College of Human Ecology in cooperation with the University of Minnesota Extension Service

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