08450 - 2006
Owning Your Feelings
Copyright © 2006 Regents of the University of Minnesota. All rights reserved.
English | Spanish
Video
Video Guide:
This segment looks at the use of “I” messages to communicate feelings honestly while respecting the feelings of others. The examples shown here contrast using “I” messages and “you” messages in common divorce situations.
Use this segment to introduce the section titled “Strengthening Your Communication Skills” on page 44 of the Impact of Divorce on Children Educator Guide.
INTRODUCING “OWNING YOUR FEELINGS”
Ask parents to watch the reactions of the people when the different kinds of messages are used. Ask them to think about their own styles of communication when they speak, particularly to the other parent.
DISCUSSION
Let parents know that using “I” messages takes practice, and that it is not a magic fi x when the patterns of communication between parents are full of long-standing confl ict. “I” messages are, however, useful in improving most types of communication. Refer to the practice examples on page 45 of the Impact of Divorce on Children Educator Guide. Remind parents of the wallet card on “I” messages in the back of their Impact of Divorce on Children Parent Handbook.
HERE ARE SOME DISCUSSION QUESTIONS FOR THE GROUP:
- Why are “I” messages often more effective than “you” messages?
- How do you see “I” messages being used in negative ways, even when the words are constructive? (Examples include intent, tone of voice, emphasis of words, etc.)
