What About Spanking?
Prepared by Ronald L. Pitzer, Family Sociologist, University
of Minnesota.
Reviewed November 2008 by Kathleen Olson, Extension Education - Family Relations
Should parents spank or not? Some parents think spanking
is the right thing to do when their children misbehave. Others
believe any form of spanking is wrong and harmful. There are
many teaching, nurturing, and disciplining tools available
to parents that are more effective and less harmful than spanking
and other forms of physical punishment.
Why Parents Spank
- Spanking is easy to do and requires little
thought on the part of parents.
- It seems to work. The child may stop misbehaving.
But it is important to realize two things: 1) Spanking does
not stop misbehavior any better than do other firm tactics;
2) Children often repeat the behavior for which they were
spanked. It usually takes several repetitions of any disciplinary
technique (including spanking) before the lesson is learned
and the behavior is changed.
- It sends a clear message of disapproval.
Children know immediately their parents are upset with their
behavior. But an angry, concerned, or upset parental expression
or tone of voice is also obvious to a child.
What's Wrong with Spanking
- Spanking is humiliating and demeaning to
both parent and child, often lowering self-esteem and morale.
Children with low self-esteem are more likely to repeat
the misbehavior, which leads to more spanking. Things get
worse instead of better.
- Spanking sets a violent example, teaching
children that hitting is the way to solve problems. Research
consistently shows that children who are spanked are more
likely to use physical force against siblings and peers,
and later against their own spouse and children.
- Spanking can lead to battering and child
abuse. It is estimated that 85-90 percent of child abuse
cases were attempts to discipline by the use of physical
punishment that got out of control. Spanking in the heat
of anger, when a parent has more strength and less control,
can lead to serious injury. Spanking after the anger has
cooled may be less likely to lead to physical damage, but
also is less effective in correcting behavior, since the
punishment is so far removed from the offense.
- Children who are spanked may come to resent
or fear their parents. Research studies have found that
40-50 percent of people, when asked how they felt when spanked,
reported they “hated parent.” These emotions
keep them from wanting to change their behavior and from
learning how to do so. Also, each episode of physical punishment
chips away at the bond of affection between parent and child.
- Children who are spanked may refrain from
repeating the misbehavior, but they obey out of fear. Instead
of learning to differentiate between right and wrong, they
only learn to differentiate between what they get spanked
for and don't get spanked for. They rarely learn self-discipline.
Research has shown that children who are regularly or often
spanked are less compliant with parental wishes when out
of the presence of the punisher than are children who are
not spanked (but are disciplined for their actions).
- Spanking hinders development of empathy, remorse, compassion,
and conscience— because children spanked as a disciplinary
technique focus on their own pain rather than considering
the effect of their behavior on others.
- Spanking, especially when frequent and/or
severe, is associated with a number of psychological and
behavioral outcomes in later life— low self-esteem,
anger, fear, depression, alienation, alcoholism, emotional
instability and unresponsiveness, dependence, and abusiveness,
among others.
Parents can avoid spanking if they know more effective ways
to discipline their children. Some parents are so angry and
frightened that they cannot think about anything and simply
lash out. They need help with their own problems so they can
use better ways of raising their children. Other parents spank
because they do not know about other choices or tools for
handling misbehavior and teaching their children. Spanking
may be the only tool in their “discipline tool box.”
Parents often spank children when they are tired and frustrated;
when they are “at the end of their rope.” They
can't think of anything else to do. There are always better
choices than spanking.
References
Eisenberg, Arlene, Heidi Murkoff, and Sandee Hathaway. What
to Expect: The Toddler Years. Workman Publishing Co.
1994.
Smith, Charles A., Ph.D. Responsive Discipline: Effective
Tools for Parents. Kansas State University Cooperative
Extension Service. 1993.
Straus, Murray A.. Beating the Devil Out of Them: Corporal
Punishment in American Families. Lexington Books. 1994.
Adapted with permission from Positive Parenting II: A Video-Based Parent Education Curriculum (University of Minnesota Extension Service, 1997). This product is no longer available.
