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Online Parenting Resources

Using Effective Tools

Prepared by Bernadette Mayek, University of Wisconsin Extension Family Living Educator, Waupaca County, WI.

Reviewed November 2008 by Kathleen Olson, Extension Education - Family Relations

Nurturance and Prevention Tools

Strategies to help parents raise healthy, happy, secure children and strategies parents can use when children are not misbehaving that will keep problems from occurring.

Love and Care for Our Children	Change Your Attitude	Teach Values and Behavior	Change the Situation	Increase Security
Provide real affection Love unconditionally Spend time together Really listen Trust and respect each other Strengthen self-esteem Show interest in what child does	Change thinking about misbehavior Allow minor mis-behavior Understand the child’s point of view	Model the desirable behavior Tell stories to make a point Give specific instruction Prepare the child for a difficulty Catch the child being good Give progress reports	Encourage humor and fun Change the surroundings Change the activity Distract or redirect the child Time out (to calm down)	Provide physical and emotional security Move physically closer Hold the child Provide reassuring routines Provide transitions

Guidance Tools

Strategies to parents to use in managing conflict and teaching responsibility.

Encourage Thinking	Show Concern	Confront the Situation	Care for Yourself
Explain limits Provide reminder of the rule Ask for rule to be restated Ask for consequences Ask for solutions Use humor Make a polite request Use “do” instead of “don’t” Emphasize positive thinking	Provide a hearing Affirm feelings and thoughts Ask for help to understand Redirect thinking Help with frustrating tasks Contract Compromise Show child “how” Be consistent	Offer substitutes Remove children from situations they can’t handle Say “No!” Ignore irrelevant behavior Physically restrain the child Have child repeat the action Give permission	Increase parenting resources Relax Take a break Seek professional help Put situation in perspective

Consequences Tools

Strategies to parents to use when other tools don't work and children misbehave.

Expect repayment Use a time out

Allow natural consequences Introduce logical consequences Express strong disappointment

Lose a privilege/Earn back a privilege Ground the child

References

Smith, Charles A., Ph.D. Responsive Discipline: Effective Tools for Parents. Kansas State University Cooperative Extension Service. 1993.

Adapted with permission from Positive Parenting II: A Video-Based Parent Education Curriculum (University of Minnesota Extension Service, 1997). This product is no longer available.