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Information for Parents and Caregivers of Teens

Haasaawaha dhalinyarada iyo Xiriirka raga iyo dumarka (Dating and Relationship Violence — Somali)

Jodi Dworkin

Reviewed July 2009 by author; translation reviewed by Omar Da’ar, Extension Graduate Student

SOMALI

Xiriirka raga iyo dumarka u dhexeeya wuxuu noqonkaraa jacayl labada qof u dhexmara, ama mid dhinaca jirka ah. Dhalinyaradu marmarka qaarkood waay ku jaah wareeraan kana cabsadaaan markii qalad galo xariirka wiilka iyo gabadha u dhexeeya. Marmarka qaarkood waxay moodaan in ciladu xagooda ka timid. Ma yaqaanaan sidii ay kuugu sheegi lahaayeen.

Kuwa soo socda waxay ka midyihiin fegrado aad kala sheekaysankartid ilmahaaga:

• Maxay tahay sababta keentay in qof jeclaado ruuxkale oo xumeeyo.
• Qasab ama jubuub, ka mid ma aha xiriirka jacaylka.
• Hadii caruurtaadu leeyahay xiriir ay dadreemayaan cadhiidhi, diidmo, cabsi, u sheeg isaga ma iyada in ay aaminaan dareenkooda xiriirkana xariga u jaraan.
• Xasuusi had iyo jeer in aay xaq u leeyihiin in aay markasta yiraahdaan maya. Ruur xaq u lehna ma jiro in uu u sheego waxay u baahanyihiin in aaay xirtaan ama sameeyaan ama aysan samayn. Saxiibada ay buuhanyihiin in ay xariir la samaystaan.

Calaamadaha tusa qaladaadka waxaa ka mid ah kuwan soo socda:

• Hadii ay rabaan in ay xukumaan cunugaaga ama ay masaayrsanyihiin, waxaa laga yaabaa in taleefoon badan so diraan.
• Xanaaq dhow.
• Ilmahaaga oo layaso, Dareen qalad ah oo keena gacan ka hadal sida riixitaan, dhirbaaxo, ama dhufsasho.
• Takooris cunugaaga la jaro saxiibadiis. Waxaa laga yaabaa in caruurtaadu markasta lasocdo ruuxa uu xariirka laleeyahay oo keliya.

Hadii aad dareemaysid in ilamahaaga qalad loola dhaqmayo, dhib maleh in aad ka reebto kana mabnuucdid ruuxaas isaga ah, raadso caawinaad banaanka ah. Lahadal xubnaha qowska ee la qaderiyo, saxiibadaa, iyo dadka xirfada leh. Amuurahaaani aad ayey dhib ugu yihiin dadaka qaangaarka ahi in ay xaliyaan- cabiro marka marxalada ilmahaaga geli karo markii arintan oo kale so foodsaarto. Garanshaha xariirka wanaagsan ama caafimaadka qaba waa xirfad muhiim ah. Ku caawi in aay bartaan xirfado adigoo u adeegsanaya tusaalooyin iyo sheekooyin.

Wixii war bixin ah oo intaas dheer la xariir dadka kuu sameeya daryeelka caafimaadka ama wac Community University Health Clinic(CUCH) (612) 627-4774. Daafaha sare ee gobolka Minnesota wac 211, First Call for Help of the United Way.

ENGLISH

Relationship violence can be emotional, physical, or sexual. Teens are often confused and scared when abuse occurs. Sometimes teens may even think it is their fault. They may not know how to tell you about it.

Here are some thoughts to talk with your teen about:

• Why a person would be attracted to someone who makes them feel bad.
• Violence is not part of healthy, loving relationships.
• If your teen is in a relationship that in any way feels uncomfortable, awkward, or frightening, tell him or her to trust their feelings and get out of it.
• Remind your teen they always have the right to say no. No boyfriend or girlfriend or spouse has the right to tell them what they can or should do or wear, what kind of friends they should have, or pressure them into sexual activity when they're not ready.

Signs of an abusive relationship are when the partner:

• Is controlling or jealous. For instance, they might call a lot.
• Has a short temper.
• Puts your teen down. Emotional abuse often occurs before the first slap, push, or grab.
• Isolates your teen from friends. You may notice that your teen only hangs out with the person he or she is dating.

If you believe your teen is being mistreated, it is okay to forbid them from seeing that person, and seek outside help. Talk to respected family, friends or a professional. These issues are really hard for adults to deal with-imagine what it is like for your child. Being able to identify and be in healthy relationships is a very important skill. Help them learn these skills through your example and by talking with them.

For more information call your health care provider, or call Community University Health Clinic (CUCH) at 612-627-4774. In greater Minnesota, you can call 211, First Call for Help of the United Way.