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Information for Parents and Caregivers of Teens

Haasaawaha iyo dhalinyarada (Teens and Dating — Somali and English)

Jodi Dworkin and Jamal Abdulahi

Revised 2008 by Jodi Dworkin and Jamal Abdulahi

SOMALI

Waxa jirta in haasaawaha dhix mara labada qof ay u dhici jirtay habab kala gadisan markii Soomaaliya la joogay. Xaga baadiyaha, wiilashu waxa ay raaci jireen geela, gabdhuhuna adhiga. Waxa aana jirtay in uu haasaawo iyo sheeko dhex marto wiilasha iyo gabdhaha marka ay xoolaha la joogaan. Dhinaca magaalada, waxa jirtay in wiilashu ay soo booqan jireen xaafadaha jaarka iyaga oo ulajeedadoodu ay aheed in ay la kulmaan gabdhaha si ay isku bartaan. Waxana taas waalidku u arki jireen in haasaaawuhu uu yahay mid ku dambayn kara guur iyo reer. Waxa kale oo jirtay in ay waalidku isku dari jireen labada qof oo ay isu meherin jireen.

Hadii aynu ka hadalo haasaawaha dhalinta iyo sida uu u dhaco wadankan Maraykanka, waxa jirta in qaabab fara badan uu leeyahay. Waxa dhacda in ilmuhu uu ku hadlo telafoonka mudo dheer. Waxa kale oo jirta in ilmuhu ay ku wada xiriiraan koombiyuutarka, habka loo yaqaan E-mailka. Waxa kale oo dhacda in uu ilmuhu ku lumiyo wakhti badan saaxiibadii, marka waxa muhiim ah in aad la hadasho ilmahaaga kana war hayso kulba waxa ay samaynyaan. Kolay waalidku waxa ay jecelyihiin in ilmahooda dhibi ayna gaadhin.

Waxa hoos ku qoran tusaalooyin loogu talagalaay sidii aad uga war hayn laayd caruurtaada:

• Waa in aad si adag u fahansiisaa ilmaha xeerka iyo dhaqanka qoyska iyo wixii aaad ka qabtid haasaawaha. Waxa iswaydiin leh, da' dee ayuu ilmuhu ku bilaabi karaa hasaawaha? Waxa la ogaaday in gabadha la socota wiil ka da' wayn ay isticmaali karto waxyaabo badan oo waalidku uuna raali ka ahayn, sida daroogada, khamrada, iyo waxyaabo kaleba.
• Waa in aad ka war hayso qofka ilmuhu uu la sheekaysanayo.
• Waa in aad ka war haysid ama ogaadid meesha ilmuhu u socdo iyo cida la socota.
• Shuruud iyo sharciyo u yeel ilmahaaga ku saabsan xaga sheekada iyo haasaawha.

Isku day in aad ka war hayso in xidhiidku uu yahay mid guur ah iyo in kale, hadii aanad jeclaysan qofkana si cad ugu sheeg.Hana ku daga dagin in aad go'aan qaadato. Adiga ayaa loo baahanyahay in aad qayb fiican ka qaadatid nolasha ilmahaaga.

ENGLISH

When we were in Somalia, dating took different forms. In the rural areas, boys were in charge of raising camels and girls raised the goats and sheep. Young people met when grazing on the same land. In the cities, young men would visit neighbors to see the daughters. It was usually assumed that this was a serious relationship that would lead to marriage. In other cases, the parents arranged marriages-so dating did not take place.

Here in the United States, dating also takes several forms. When a child reaches age 12, they may talk for long hours on the phone. A child may correspond with males and female friends through the computer. They may spend more time with friends. Thus, it is important to talk to your teen and to monitor their activities, because parents want their teens to be safe.

Here are tips for monitoring your teens:

• Be clear about your family values on dating. At what age can your teen date? Research finds that girls who date men that are much older, are more likely to use drugs and alcohol and to engage in early sexual behavior. However, that doesn't mean that dating means young people will have sex.
• Know who your teen is dating.
• Know where your teen is going on a date and what they plan to do. Will it be a group date or as a couple?
• Set guidelines for where, when and how often your teen can go on dates.

Clarify how you would feel if the relationship were serious, or if you dislike the person your teen is seeing. Try not to jump to conclusions about what dating means. You have an important influence and it is good to talk with your teen about family values.