Search Extension:
Revised July 2009 by Kathleen Olson, Extension Educator - Family Relations; and Alisha Hardman, Extension Graduate Assistant
Children with healthy self-esteem grow into self-confident adults.
Neither parents nor teachers can give self-confidence to a child. It must be developed from within. We can help by giving a blend of acceptance, affection, limits and appropriate expectations.
Here are tips for you to foster self-esteem in children:
Encourage your child. Encouragement is not the same as praise. Praise sometimes emphasizes being better than someone. When praise is misused, a child can feel he only gets approval if he is winning. Encouragement can be given for effort or for slight improvement.
Share your approval if your child takes pleasure in doing something for its own sake.
Promote activities in which your child makes decisions and contributions. Give him the opportunity to plan family outings, or entertain friends. Provide a chance to run errands or help bake cookies.
Talk to your child. Show interest without prying. Ask, "What happened at school today?" rather than "What did you do?" Emphasize events, not victory or defeat.
Show your child that you value him. Valuing, opposed to evaluating, helps him understand he is important regardless of his successes or failures. Express pride in his attempts, and nurture his willingness to try.
© 2011 Regents of the University of Minnesota. All rights reserved.
The University of Minnesota is an equal opportunity educator and employer.
