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Experts say that in this century, the ability to communicate and work with people from different racial, religious, ability and ethnic groups is an essential life skill. Our country has a history of great diversity. However, our teens will inherit an even more diverse world. We need to help them learn to live and work with people whose race, abilities, religion or culture may be different from their own. Celebration of differences and freedom from fear of differences will enable our teens to lead richer, fuller lives while recognizing the value of all people.
The life skills of tolerance and character are what teens need to interact in a future world. Here are a few tips to encourage tolerance of others in your teen.
Encourage your teen to talk with you about tolerance and character. Make it an on-going conversation. For example, one discussion could be about “how do you think it feels to be different”.
Be specific when you talk about tolerance. General statements such as “all prejudice is wrong” won’t explain anything to your teen. To understand what prejudice is, teens need to talk about the differences they see and draw informed conclusions with adult input.
Don’t tolerate inappropriate language or humor. If your teen or others tell distasteful jokes about race, sex or culture, this is the chance to talk about your own values and why you will not tolerate such language or humor.
Be a good example. As Albert Schweitzer said, “Children learn by three ways: example, example, example.” That doesn’t mean we have to be perfect. But, if we have said or done something inappropriate and it is pointed out to us, we can show a willingness to examine and overcome our own prejudices.
We can also make sure that we are providing opportunities for teens to discuss and experience tolerance. We can introduce differences through books, magazines, film or television where it is less threatening to “meet” people who are different from ourselves. We can start conversations about differences. Acknowledge that some people have ideas about people that seem to be prejudiced or that you find troubling. They may even be suspicious or afraid. Talk about how teens deal with these fears.
As a family, take part in celebrations or community festivals that feature different foods, music, and customs. There is a rich diversity in many parts of the country and many opportunities for observing a variety of cultures.
Encourage volunteer experiences that expose your teen to people who are from different racial, religious or ability groups. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or food pantry. Real life experiences can teach a lot.
Encouraging the life skill of tolerance is complicated and challenging. It also doesn’t happen overnight but is influenced all throughout a child’s growing up years. The most effective way to teach tolerance is to model the quality. Encourage and support teens so they can grow into responsible adults who accept and celebrate differences.
Pitzer, R. (1999). Positive Parenting of Teens: A Video-Based Parent Education Curriculum. St. Paul, MN: University of Minnesota Extension. (This curriculum is no longer available.)
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