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Information for Parents and Caregivers of Teens

Peer Pressure ... An Often Misunderstood Concept

Jean Kvols, Regional Extension Educator

Some commonly held beliefs of parents about peer pressure include:

• Peers are always a bad influence.
• Parents and peers are opposing forces.
• Peers lead the adolescent astray.
• Conformity to peers is part of being adolescent.
• All teens succumb to peer pressure.
• There is little a parent can do about peer pressure.

As we examine each of those commonly held beliefs, we find they are actually myths. According to current research, peer pressure has been both overrated and misunderstood. In reality, teenagers are as varied as adults. And the group of teens that a teenager surrounds himself with will have influence, both positive and negative. It’s not whether teenagers will feel peer pressure, but rather what kind of pressure they will experience.

Most teens follow and accept their parent’s advice more than they like to admit particularly in matters of moral and religious values and their future. They are however, very much influenced by their peers in choices around music, fashion, hair, neatness, day to day activities as well as their choice of friends.

Research shows that teens are more likely to choose like-minded friends than to be influenced to be like teens who are very different from them. Parents need to be aware that peer pressure is not one-directional, but circular. Mutual reinforcement is what usually happens. So, if a parent is worried that peers will lead their teen astray, the question to ask is not WHO is making my child go wrong. But rather, the parent should ask WHY did the teen choose this friend in the first place. To reverse negative peer pressure, parents need to look at both their teen’s problems and the peers who contribute to and encourage the behavior.

Though vulnerability to peer pressure does differ in teenagers, research shows that as a general rule, the influence of peer pressure climbs during early adolescence. It peaks in eighth or ninth grade and declines thereafter. It is interesting to note that teens are not the only ones who feel pressure to conform. After all, the phrase “keeping up with the Jones” wasn’t created to describe teens!

The best thing parents can do to minimize negative effects of peer pressure is to have a warm and caring relationship with their teens. Teens who experience a close relationship with their parents develop a higher sense of self-esteem, self-confidence and assertiveness and are more likely to choose friends their parents like.