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First, teens need respect from adults. Take them seriously as mature, unique people equal to adults in their worth and dignity. Acknowledge that some of the ways you've interacted with them in the past need to change because of the amazing array of changes in their lives. Treat teens the way you expect to be treated. When they've done a good job, tell them so.
Second, teens need to take responsibility for themselves. Provide opportunities for teens to choose and make decisions on their own and involve them in decisions about rules. Also, be clear about the difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment focuses on what's wrong; discipline emphasizes what needs to be done right in the future.
Third, teens need to share beliefs and opinions and form their own values. One of the most important things any adult can do to help teenagers form healthy values is to listen to the things they have to say.
Next, teens need to explore and take healthy risks; both are a normal part of growing up. For example, joining a school group or trying out a new musical instrument are examples of taking healthy risks. Instead of criticizing or insulting teens for their tastes, back off and give them room to explore and try new things. However, know when to intervene and be alert to warning signs that indicate your teen has moved from healthy into harmful risk-taking.
Fifth, teens need to interact with peers. This is essential for them to learn how to get along with others. They need to take responsibility for and develop accountability to others. Help youth develop social and organizational skills and encourage them to volunteer in their communities.
Finally, teen need positive adult role models whom they like and respect. When it come to influencing teens, the things you say probably aren't as important as the things you do.
Pitzer, R. (1999). Positive Parenting of Teens: A Video-Based Parent Education Curriculum. St. Paul, MN: University of Minnesota Extension. (This curriculum is no longer available.)
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