Adjusting to Suddenly Reduced Income

Getting Back to "Normal"

A person's "normal" state of functioning becomes disrupted by a sudden income loss. It is possible to return to a purposeful state of functioning after going through the stages described above and after exploring options and setting a plan. People then begin to feel secure and in control and have a more positive self-esteem. People get renewed energy to tackle life again but in different ways than before the sudden income change. It is perhaps better to think of the end of the grief cycle as returning to a meaningful life rather than returning to a "normal" life. "Normal" at this stage will not be the same as "normal" before the loss.

Dealing With Your Feelings

People often deny the intense feelings associated with unplanned income changes. However, when feelings become overwhelming, it sometimes helps to understand how a feeling happens. A feeling can be experienced, expressed, or acted on.

When people experience feelings, they allow the feelings to surface, they own the feelings, and can begin to deal with them. For example, they begin to realize that they feel afraid, confused, silly, etc. Identifying the feeling is a key step in dealing with it constructively.

Expressing feelings involves getting them out, talking about them with someone else or writing them down. This relieves the person's mind almost as if a weight has been lifted. Now energy can go toward seeking options for resolving the circumstances of that feeling.

When people act on their feelings, they do so with others around them. People often assume that if they experience a feeling, it is necessary to either express it or act on it at the same time that they experience it. This way of approaching a feeling may not have a successful result and may hurt others in the process. Rather, there may be times when you only experience and express a feeling but wait until a more appropriate time to act on it. Feelings are neither good nor bad. It is what a person does with them that makes the difference.

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