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Important Recovery tips from the University
of Minnesota Extension Service
After a disaster, the decision-making process can be affected by the emotional responses to grief. Yet during these difficult times, important decisions often need to be made. Be aware of the grief stages and their effect on decision making.
Stage 1: Shock and denial. It is common for people to avoid making decisions or taking actions at this point.
Stage 2: Anger. Making decisions at this point is difficult because all one's energy gets put into the emotion rather than problem solving.
Stage 3: Depression and detachment. Because it is hard to make decisions at this stage, it is a good idea to consider asking a family member, friend, or professional for help if important decisions need to be made.
Stage 4: Dialogue and bargaining. People become more willing to explore alternatives after expressing their feelings.
Stage 5: Acceptance. Decisions are much easier to make because people have found new purpose and meaning.
Distress and despair can grip a community after a disaster. Temporary homelessness, damaged personal items, lost crops, and an uncertain future weigh heavily on survivors. The most common coping tools are our abilities to listen, talk, and support one another. Remember to:
Tell family members, neighbors, and friends when they have done a good job.
Be considerate of family members, neighbors, and friends. Keep in mind that everyone is upset.
Be patient with one another. Realize that when we suffer losses, it is natural to express disbelief, anger, sadness, anxiety and depression afterwards. Emotions will rollercoaster and moods can change suddenly. Spouses' viewpoints may vary considerably.
Laugh! Even in crisis, it's all right to laugh. Laughter can help relieve tension.
* Information from University of Wisconsin Cooperative Extension.
Young people often respond to distress by trying to handle it alone or talking to other teens. In a crisis, they need to feel they can rely on adults. Adults can help by:
Taking them seriously. Do not discount or underestimate the significance of their concerns.
Offering help early. Help is essential for young people in the early stages of distress, before they sink into deep despair or depression.
Not offering false assurance. Focus on the positive but don't brush off problems or distress by telling them "don't worry" or "cheer up."
Encouraging them to talk. Just knowing someone is aware of their pain can mean a great deal.
Showing by words and actions that they care. Nothing said to a distressed teen will help unless it is said in a warm, caring, supportive way.
Some parents find it difficult or impossible to discuss disaster with their children. Others feel talking about the crisis will only upset children more. In fact, studies show that children need to bring their fears, fantasies and confusions out into the open. Parents can help by:
Talking about the event. Adult evasion and concealment may shake children's trust and increase their fears.
Avoiding needless alarm and panic. During crisis, children turn to adults for cues on how to behave and feel.
Being patient. Ideally, discussion of a child's worries should occur when the child brings them up and want to talk about them. Not at a time the parent selects.
Simplifying. Provide simple explanations appropriate to the child's age and ability to understand.
Let people give you a hand. It can make a critical difference between coping and suffering.
Take care of your physical and emotional needs. Eat balanced meals, get enough sleep, talk about your feelings and listen to others. Look for positives in the situation.
Be patient with one another. Rollercoaster emotions and sudden moods changes are a natural response.
Don't overlook the feelings of children. Reassure them, making sure they understand they are not responsible for the problems you face.
Focus on the big picture, instead of little details and problems. Don't expect things to instantly restore themselves.
Remember that a support network is essential.
Show by words and actions that you care. Even small, kind deeds will mean a lot to others.
* Information from University of Wisconsin Cooperative Extension.
