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Extension > Family > Parents Forever™ > For families > Resources for families > Being Successful with Coparenting > Managing Anger in Conflict

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Being Successful with Coparenting

Little boy looking distressed as parents fight in background

Managing Anger in Conflict

Wendy Rubinyi, Instructional Design Specialist — Independent Contractor; Minnell L. Tralle, Extension Educator — Family Resiliency; and Heather M. Lee, Project Manager — Extension Center for Family Development

January 2012

Looking for some safe, simple ways to defuse angry feelings that arise because of conflict? Here are some techniques for managing anger that don’t hurt others or damage relationships.

You probably can’t eliminate angry feelings that arise because of conflict. However, you can control how you respond in moments of conflict, as well as how you cope with lingering feelings of anger (after a confrontation is over) by trying some safe, simple techniques. They will help you manage anger in ways that don’t hurt others physically or emotionally — or damage relationships you want to preserve.

During moments of conflict or a confrontation with others happening in real time:

After the conflict occurs:

Do anything you can think of that helps you release your angry feelings — as long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or others.


Damerow, D., & Syverson, S. (1999). Building family strengths: A toolkit for families (Item No. 07265). St. Paul, MN: University of Minnesota Extension Service.

Shrand, J., & Devine, L. (2013). Outsmarting Anger: 7 Strategies for Defusing Our Most Dangerous Emotion. San Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, a Wiley imprint.

Wells, D. L. (2009). The effects of animals on human health and well-being. Journal of Social Issues, 65(3), 523-543.

Related resources

Controlling Your Own Anger — Learn to recognize your own anger triggers toward your child, and follow these strategies to manage your own anger.

When Does Alcohol or Drug Use Become an Abuse? — Many people turn to alcohol or drugs when they are sad.

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